British Problems

Törmäsin hiljattain British Problems -listaan, joka ihanan brittiläiseen tapaan listaa brittiläisiä ongelmia. Tuo lista saa mut aina hihittelemään, ja sieltä on myös hauska bongata ajankohtaisia aiheita ja kulttuurieroja.

Nyt lumikaaoksen aikaan briteillä on ollut mm. seuraavanlaisia huolia:

• The BBC just used the word "Snowmageddon".
• I panic ate all the food I panic bought.
• Someone walked over my fresh patch of snow I was saving for later.
• The BBC is confidently telling me I won't have snow for another 3 or 4 hours as I watch it fall through the window.
• I live in Cornwall. It's 7 degrees with sunny spells. Truth be told, I feel like I missed an invitation to the party.
• My constant grumpiness about snow is disappointing my inner child.
• All the witty, sarcastic jokes about the snow and the panic that has gripped our nation have been made and now I can't.
• I genuinely need to buy petrol this evening, but everyone will think I'm a panic-buying imbecile.
• I think Tesco engineered the helicopter crash in London and the hostage crisis in Algeria just so we forget they had horse meat in there burgers. Well its not going to wo.... Oh my god look its snowing!

Ja lumettominakin aikoina riittää ongelmia:

• I asked a non-British person how their weekend was and they actually answered instead of just saying "fine, thanks".
• Not knowing whether to search for "United Kingdom", "Great Britain" or "England" on drop down boxes.
• I live outside the UK so when I say "With all due respect" nobody realises I'm insulting them.
• I accidentally used the wrong tea bag, and now I'm drinking Earl Grey. I still like it but I wasn't expecting it.
• A man in the supermarket was browsing the food I wanted to browse, so I had to pretend to look at things I didn't even want until he left.
• I accidentally rang the bell on the bus at the wrong stop, and instead of explaining my predicament to the driver, got off and walked the rest of the way home.
• I crave praise, but when I get it I become incredibly uncomfortable.
• I apologise for not smoking when someone asks me for a light.
• I brought a poppy from a lovely old lady who kindly offered to pin it on for me. I was too polite to tell her she had stuck it into my skin.
• I asked if anyone wanted the last biscuit. Someone did.
• I was looking forward to a nature documentary I recorded but when I sat down to watch it the narrator wasn't David Attenborough.
• After I say 'No thank you' to the cashier who asks 'Do you want help with your packing?', I feel under immense pressure to pack away as fast as she can scan.
• People who drink their pint significantly faster or slower than the group average, thereby making buying a round repeatedly shambolic.
• I stormed off upstairs in a mood after an argument but I left my cup of tea on the living room table.
• I just apologised to the dishwasher for opening it mid-cycle.
• Having my haircut, the barber said 'Is that alright?' I nodded. It wasn't.
• Forgot someone's name and felt too rude to ask as they knew mine, so I just called them "mate".
• A man opened the door for me so I said a merry 'thank you'. I then followed him through a further 10 doors having to come up with new ways of saying thank you each time - 'cheers', 'ta', 'Nice one', 'top man' I ran out of new ways so had to go into a random office.
• I started choking on my food. Rather than creating a scene, I tried to choke quietly to my death so others wouldn't be disturbed.
• Somebody bumped into me on the street and I instinctively said sorry. But I wasn't sorry. I was mildly annoyed.
• Somebody pushed into the queue and I don't think they heard my tut.
• I get so furious sometimes that I seriously consider making a complaint.